Teenagers are just misunderstood. This essay is going to tell you that actually we are very active.
A lot of us are interested in exercise and the majority of us take part in it. So it is unfair to label us as lazy when we are actually sporty. Many teenagers are in teams, but even if they are not in a team many teenagers still do sports. Whether it’s joining clubs after school or just on the weekend for fun.
We are still growing up, so we are not adults yet. So we have a lot of good potential because we still have a lot ahead of us, which means that when we are adults we could be a really nice person because we would have grown up.
We will have mood swings which means we won’t be happy all the time. We can’t control how we feel quite a lot of the time because of hormones.
We have odd sleep patterns which sometimes causes us to be in a bad mood. We have a lot of pressure on us because when you are a teenager you have high expectations from teachers, parents and peers. We can be stressed out quite a lot of time because a lot of things are troubling us; like high expectations, tests, homework and many other things. When you were a teenager what were you like? When everybody gives you high expectations and it’s hard to fulfill them. We need more sleep than adults and babies but we can’t because our sleeping patterns are messed up. That is why we are always so tired. How would you like the system to work for teenagers?
I think schools should acknowledge this and make school opening times a bit later so that we can come into school more awake and ready for school, which means that students will be able to do more work and will be able to concentrate and behave well.
Schools need to know how we think things would work better for us, because if the system is better our education will be better because we will be getting more done in class and can contribute in class better. If the schools listen to us then it will benefit our education.
The point of school is so we can get an education, we can get a good job, have a good future and also there is a social aspect to school as well.
People think that we are lazy but I think that we are not. As teenager my self I think we are just tired rather than lazy because I know being a teenager is quite tiring. When you were a teenager was life tiring for you?
As I said, we have weird sleeping patterns, this is the reason for teenagers being tired and this has been scientifically proven.
All adults have been teenagers and they need to remember what it was like from a teenagers point of view. So I think we should have a say in today’s society and then people would see a different point of view of teenagers.
We have a lot of stress, when we use our phone or play Xbox our parents think we are wasting our lives and they always say “you will not have a bright future wasting your life on games consoles.” We are relaxing! We have actually been studying in school for hours.
If the education system works to fit us then they can learn more and behave better.
If people ignored the stereotypes and allowed the system work for us then people will realise that we aren’t horrible or lazy; we are just misunderstood. We are decent people like everyone else.
March 26, 2015 at 2:20 pm
Hello Kai
You have made some good points about why teenagers are not lazy. I think you need to work on making your argument more persuasive.
Target:
1. Include some of the language devices we have discussed in class. For example you might want to use a rhetorical question- “Can you remember what it was like to be a teenager?”
2. Try to vary your sentence starters; try not to use “Another reason I think this…” I think you could describe the effect of mood swings and how they make you feel using a persuasive language device such as the power of three? eg happy, angry, hungry.
3. Also remember that you are a teenager. You should use this to your advantage through your use of pronouns. “We are growing” etc
Hope this makes sense.
Ms Andrews
April 12, 2015 at 11:26 pm
Hello Kai,
I agree with this feedback from Ms Andrews – did you know that you’re just under 200 words short of your minimum word limit?
How might you achieve the Perfect Paragraph badge?
http://achieve.community.edutronic.net/stage-one-writing/perfect-paragraph/
April 15, 2015 at 10:10 pm
I can see that you have added to this, but you still haven’t achieved Perfect Paragraph or Expository. Nearly there though.
Targets
1) Be strict with paragraph length
2) Always re-read and edit sentence length
3) Read your opening and edit it – does this reflect what you want it to say – how might you give it more of a hook?
Don’t forget
Aim to re-draft at least one paragraph in order to achieve the Perfect Paragraph badge
http://achieve.community.edutronic.net/stage-one-writing/perfect-paragraph/
How will you meet this criteria?
May 13, 2015 at 1:37 pm
Please re-read your second paragraph – how often have your repeated the word ‘sport’ – how might you change this?
Vary your vocabulary for effect.
June 2, 2015 at 10:58 pm
You have used the word teenager nine times in this essay – vary your vocabulary and sentence structures for effect.
What else do you need to do in order to achieve this badge?
June 4, 2015 at 7:46 am
The repetition of sport must be fixed before you achieve your badge.
June 13, 2015 at 3:51 pm
To achieve the badge:
You must still check your sentence lengths throughout.
Develop your understanding of complex sentence structures.
June 18, 2015 at 2:44 pm
You must correct the sentence length from paragraph 7 onwards.